Monday, October 19, 2009

"You look very nice, you're wearing your c-cksucker" -- Sophie Zawistowski, European Discount Traveler

For anyone on a tight budget who has to make the heartbreaking Sophie's Choice between a pampered, non-stop, private bed-cabin, double-decker Airbus A-380 flight or a silk sheet, 5 star service, marble steam bath and jacuzzi soaking tub hotel suite, you do have options if you decide to hand over your transportation dreams to the economic reality Nazi.

If you are traveling to Europe from North America, it's no secret that there are now a plethora of homegrown discount airlines flying between European cities at cutthroat prices. And the the same phenomenon is spreading now to Southeast Asia, too! Soooo, what does this mean for the fabulous gay or lesbian or transgendered traveler on a budget who needs to save every penny for those $14 cocktails, $30 cover charges, and $300 hotel rooms in Rome, Berlin, Bangkok, or Hong Kong? Fly to major hub and then book a separate connecting flight on one of those discount airlines! In Europe, THE hub is London. In Southeast Asia, it's Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia) and Singapore. It's often easier to find steeply discounted ticket prices to these cities than other comparable cities in Europe and Asia. Then once you get there, you continue on a flight they may cost you just another 10 extra euros or Singapore dollars!

Say you can only find a roundtrip flight to Warsaw (and with connections still!) for $800. A flight to London, however, is only $500. Then say a discount airline like Ryanair or Easyjet is offering a roundtrip flight from London to Warsaw for just $15 dollars. That's a total of $515 dollars versus $800.

What are the downsides? Well, the flight schedules may not always mesh, which means you might have to stay an extra day in London or Singapore -- which may be a plus for some; but these are not cheap cities. This is more likely than not, since you have to book the flights separately, so you have to leave yourself plenty of time to make your connection -- especially if you check bags. This brings up the other risk that if there is a delay in either flight, the other airline will bear no responsibility in getting you to your destination if you miss your connection.

Then there's the question of "how in the world do these airlines make money, just charging $15?" (sometimes even with promotions of -$1! Yes, the airline is paying YOU to fly them). Well, first of all, these prices do not include taxes and fees, which is usually another $20 to $40. Second, nothing else on the flight is free. Be prepared to shell out money for drinks, food, pillows, priority boarding, assigned seats, and the biggest kicker of all -- checked luggage. Checking luggage can set you back upwards of $50 each way (Still, a $155 ticket ain't bad, depending). The discount airlines can also be particularly fascist (like a camp guard) in their ruthless search for efficiency, when it comes to checking in "on time" (another reason to budget in lots of connection time). I once arrived at little Ciampino airport in Rome barely after the 45 minute check-in window for Ryanair, but they utterly refused to budge (it's not like security and the terminal were a logistical challenge). In a word, be prepared to be treated not as a human being, but as faceless cattle.

BUT, if you travel light, and your connections work (and it IS do-able -- I've been doing it for years), you can save several hundred dollars with which you can pamper yourself and wash away the frustration of getting where you want (and deserve!) to go.

http://www.easyjet.com/

http://www.ryanair.com/site/EN/

http://www.tigerairways.com/

http://www.airasia.com/

http://www.euroflights.info/

http://www.travelsuperlink.com/asiadiscountair
  



 

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

An American in Gay Ireland -- Impressions by Haiku

AerLingus alights.
Empty stomach greets sunrise.
Just juice, the plane lands.

Drive Burren dreamscape. . .
Back to the left! TO THE LEFT!
Death is averted.

A Bar in Temple
Spirits flowing, straights glowing . . .
Where is Pantibar?

Dublin welcomes you!
See George, Enter the Dragon
Eire, I will come.

Black hair, blue eyes, hard,
Single, White, O'Callaghan
You go BrĂ¡ch! You go!

Here is black pudding.
What did you say was in it?
I have to lie down.

AerLingus alights.
Service requests disappear
Into the dark void.